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Review of Australia’s 2013 Election

by Naomi
It has been a while since I’ve written anything. Now, I could bore you with stories of my holiday and the many differences between the UK and Australia. But I won’t. Instead, I’ll have a go at describing the Australian Election 2013:
  • The election date was announced and it is gratefully only a few weeks away.
  • From that moment, the political advertising was relentless – on screen, on posters, on radio, on TV, in conversations.
  • The existing prime minister Kevin Rudd is fame-hungry, cheesy and apparently disliked more by his own party and those who have to work with him than even the opposition.
  • The opposition leader Tony Abbott is ultra-conservative, sinister and slimy and has, among numerous gaffes, referred to himself as “the guy with the not bad looking daughters”, said that no one was the “suppository of all wisdom” and is responsible for other misogynist behaviour which was the inspiration for Julia Gillard’s famous speech.
  • Having to choose between the two, feels similar to someone giving you a spoon and asking you to choose from two bowls of poo to eat from.
  • Sticking with the poo theme, there appears to be correlation of the length of the ballot paper with the length of the average Australian’s toilet paper when going for a poo.
  • Some of the parties listed on the ballot form reflected the frame of mind of some Australia, including some of my favourites – Australian Motoring Enthusiast Party, Coke in the Bubblers Party, Help End Marijuana Prohibition (HEMP) Party and my favourite if only for their campaign video, The Sex Party.
  • You can either put a “1” against one of the parties or fill in numbers from 1 to 110 against each individual candidate representing each of the parties. Seriously?
So, we woke up this morning to a dreary, overcast day which worked as wonderful symbolism to waking up to Tony Abbott as Australia’s now Prime Minister. This must have been how some of the population of the US (the ones who were not out shooting) felt when George W Bush was sworn in 2001. Sigh…. roll on 2016.

About Naomi Moan

Naomi Moan lives life as a palindrome. She likes nothing better than to take things and turn them on their heads. She loves food, motorcycles, her cat, art, comedy, women, music, food, laughing, people, travelling, new ideas, debating and food. Her door-knocking religious upbringing has prepared her for a lifetime of rejection. So if you don't happen to like or agree with the article, she smiles politely and moves on to the next one...

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  1. You know that bit about filling in the numbers from 1 – 110 on the metre-long Senate polling paper? Well, I came out of the polling booth in one minute. Then I had to cool my heels outside for 10 minutes… my daughter came out next, my husband took another 5 minutes. He’d made a mistake and had to renumber 56 candidates. Groan.

  2. Yes! The Senate Ballot Paper was sooo bloody long! It would’ve been put to much better use as toilet paper! I actually had a disgruntled voter in the booth next to mine mumble, “What a waste of paper!”

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